Several years ago, I wrote a book called Five Questions That Change Everything. I’d like to go through those five questions with you now. First, an introduction and then a video on each of the five. So you’ll have an understanding of what this is about. The subtitle of the book is these are five questions that change everything except the one thing that never needs to change. What I’m saying is you don’t need to change yourself. You need to come home to yourself, and that changes everything. How could you possibly be somebody else? A lot of programs, personal development, or leadership development programs give you this list of things that you should try to be like. And the implication is, is something wrong with who you are now that you need to be somebody else? Weight loss programs: You need to be thinner than you are now. You need to be something different than you are now. After years and years of working with people in executive coaching, this is before even coaching was around. And as a therapist, what I found is the way to create transformation is not by changing into somebody else, which you couldn’t do anyway, but in becoming more fully who you are and discovering inside yourself those things that you’re reaching for, that you’re aspiring for. So let’s go into these five questions. The first question is what confronts you? We use the analogy of tigers, as you’ll see. What are the tigers you need to face in your life? Are you facing these tigers? What confronts you? In fact, what confronts me right now in this moment is standing here shooting this video.
So the thing that confronts you can be a really big thing, like a life decision or something in a relationship, at home or at work that needs attention, some kind of a problem that needs to be solved. Or it could just be this next phone call or this next meeting that I’m about to go into. That’s what confronts me. The second question: what am I bringing? Like as I go into this situation? What am I bringing? My history? I have my whole history I’m bringing, could leave it behind if I tried. It’s who I am. I bring it with me. I bring my hopes, my fears, my predictions. I have this internal conversation about how this video is going to go or how this phone call is going to go or how this meeting is going to go or what I need to do. This is all of what we’re bringing to that thing that confronts us. Question number three is what runs me or what runs you? Now your history, those are conscious. The conversation. You can talk about that. Think about that. Question number three is about things that you probably are not aware of. And this is how are you on autopilot? How are you doing the same thing every day over and over again, maybe with just a little bit of difference? In order to create a transformation in a particular situation, you need to break the pattern. So what is the pattern of your life? What is the patterned way that you approach situations that might need to be shifted, maybe to let go of and open up to something different? So what runs me? How are you on autopilot without realizing it? Question four is what calls you? What calls you? What calls me from two directions.
First of all, what calls out from inside of you? What are the natural gifts that you are born with, that you have that you don’t have to think about? Like a fish doesn’t think about swimming? If you told a fish, boy, are you a great swimmer? The fish say, what’s swimming? Okay, what are these natural charisms and gifts that you have that call out from inside to be expressed in your life and in your work? The second thing is what calls you from outside. What is the need in the world that calls out for your attention? What is the need in the world that you are perfectly designed to address? And question number five is okay, that’s great. I’ve had all these insights. I’ve read the book, got the seminar, blah, blah, blah. Question five is what will unleash me? What will put me into action in the world with this fresh way of approaching things? So those are five questions that change everything, except the one thing that never needs to change. You don’t need to change yourself. You need to come home to yourself. And that changes everything. You start taking on these five questions not like to have answers but to live into these five questions and you will find yourself coming more and more and more home to who you are.
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